Sex is MORE than a physical act. It’s emotional, psychological, relational, and spiritual.

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“We weren’t sure what to expect from couples sex therapy with Adrian, but this was such a positive experience. The approach felt balanced, deep when it needed to be, but also very practical. We feel more aligned, more secure, and better equipped to handle challenges together.”
— Jenna T

Tired of not having the sex life you deserve?

Have you been suffering with any of the following anxiety symptoms?

  • Desire discrepancies and low libido

  • Performance anxiety, shame, or guilt around sex

  • Erotic self-discovery and sexual identity development

  • Trauma healing related to touch, consent, or body image

  • Reigniting pleasure and intimacy in long-term relationships

  • Exploring kink, fantasy, and non-traditional expressions of sexuality

  • Reclaiming erotic connection as a form of empowerment

Who it’s for: Anyone feeling stuck, ashamed, curious, disconnected, or ready to feel more alive in their sexual self.

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Is Sex Therapy Right for You?

Life brings challenges that can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves, our partners, or our sense of possibility. Whether you're navigating personal struggles, major life transitions, or questions around intimacy and sexuality, I'm here to support you. My focus is helping you reconnect with your inner wisdom, discover what you truly need, and build a life that feels authentically yours.

I work with people experiencing:

  • Low sexual desire or mismatched libidos

  • Infidelity, trust issues, or differing desires

  • Sexual pain (physical or emotional)

  • Erectile concerns, ejaculation issues, or orgasm difficulties

  • Sexual trauma or anxiety around sex

  • Questions about LGBTQIA+ identity or sexual expression

  • Interest in exploring kink, non-monogamy, or alternative relationship structures

You might be:

  • Navigating polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, or open relationships

  • Single by choice, co-parenting, or creating chosen family

  • Feeling unsatisfied with your sexual connection or struggling to communicate your needs

  • Dealing with performance anxiety or body-related concerns

Ready to take the next step?

If you're seeking greater self-understanding, healing, and empowerment, I'd love to support you. Together, we'll navigate these challenges and help you create a life that feels more fulfilling and aligned with who you truly are.

Schedule a Consultation
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  • Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy focused on helping individuals and couples address a wide range of sexual concerns. It provides a safe and supportive space to explore challenges, enhance communication, and cultivate a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual life.

    Common areas addressed in sex therapy:

    • Sexual dysfunction: This includes issues such as low sexual desire, discrepancies in desire between partners, difficulties with arousal or orgasm, performance concerns, and sexual pain disorders.

    • Sexual identity and preferences: Sex therapists can help individuals explore and understand their sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual preferences in a non-judgmental environment.

    Whether you're experiencing challenges in your sex life, navigating questions about your sexual identity, or simply seeking to enhance intimacy and pleasure, sex therapy offers valuable support and guidance.

  • Sex therapists bring a unique expertise to the field of therapy. They undergo extensive training as traditional therapists (e.g., marriage and family therapists) and then further specialize in addressing sexual concerns. Much like a cardiologist focuses on the heart, a sex therapist specializes in the complexities of human sexuality and its impact on relationships.

    The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is the gold standard for certifying sex therapists, ensuring they have the knowledge and skills to provide effective and ethical care.

    Beyond the "How-To" of Sex

    My clients often already know the mechanics of sex. What we typically address are the obstacles that get in the way of a fulfilling sexual connection. These might include:

    • Communication difficulties

    • Discrepancies in desire

    • Infidelity

    • Past traumas

    • Body image concerns

    • Performance anxiety

    Building a Foundation for Intimacy

    We start by addressing these underlying issues and strengthening the foundation of your relationship. This involves fostering:

    • Trust

    • Respect

    • Vulnerability

    • Clear communication

    Once this solid foundation is in place, we can explore the sexual component of your relationship.

  • Absolutely. When you are ready to make courageous changes with the support and guidance of a trained sex therapist, psychological sexual dysfunctions can be resolved. A skilled therapist will support you in confronting your fears and teach you the necessary steps towards realizing your sexual potential.

  • I offer a free initial 10 minute phone consultation to answer any questions you may have. From there, we can set up a first appointment together. Note that not every therapist is a fit for every client and not every client is a fit for every therapist. We would explore your needs for therapy and what I offer. If you or I feel you are not finding what you need here, I am more than happy to give you referrals to someone who may work with your needs better. It is all about finding the perfect fit for you and your journey.

    In our first session we will discuss more about what's bringing you to therapy at this time and what you are hoping to get out of the experience. You will also get more sense of how I work and have room to ask any further questions.

    Subsequent sessions are generally 50 minutes or 90 minutes in length and we will meet one or more times weekly, depending on what is needed. Individuals usually prefer 50 minute sessions and couples often prefer 90 minute sessions to allow more time to share and explore. Once we decide to work together, your weekly time slot is reserved just for you.  

    I have found that the consistency of weekly sessions is necessary to allow us to get to know each other and to attend fully to what is bringing you to therapy. How long does therapy usually last? That is up to you, the client, and I do not place a time limit on your healing. This is talk therapy, so we do a lot of verbal processing. At times, depending on what you are seeing me for, you may have homework to work on outside of our sessions to help deepen your process and get to your results much faster. I would invite each person to ask that question to themselves and see if you are ready to step into the process, which is unique to each individual and can take as long as it needs to take, without rushing or pushing you towards an ending.

    I offer brief and longer-term therapy depending on what your presenting struggles are and what is needed. My long-term depth work is more of a process oriented therapy, vs. a goal oriented therapy.

  • Most clients begin with weekly sessions to build momentum. Over time, we may move to biweekly or monthly check-ins, depending on goals and progress. Intensives and retreats can also be scheduled as standalone experiences or adjuncts to ongoing therapy.

  • Your first session is a collaborative conversation, a chance to discuss what’s bringing you to therapy, explore your goals, and begin identifying the patterns or dynamics at play. It’s normal to feel nervous or unsure; our priority is to create a safe, non-judgmental space where you can start to feel seen and supported.

  • Yes. Individual therapy can help you clarify your needs, strengthen boundaries, and communicate more effectively, even if your partner isn’t ready for couples work. Many relationships begin to shift when one person changes their patterns with awareness and intention.

  • Not at all. Sex therapy is also for people who want to deepen pleasure, connection, and self-understanding. It’s a space to talk about desire, boundaries, erotic identity, and body image in an open, shame-free way.

  • Absolutely. Dr. Adrian Scharfetter is affirming, inclusive, and knowledgeable about diverse relationship styles and sexual expressions. We meet clients where they are, without judgment, and tailor therapy to each person’s values and experiences.

Schedule a Consultation

I work with all types of clients, including:

✓ Individuals seeking clarity and meaning around their
sexual health and needs
✓ Monogamous and non-monogamous partnerships
✓ LGBTQIA+ and queer couples navigating relationships
✓ Long-term and newly committed relationships
✓ Couples exploring kink, polyamory, or open relationships/ENM
✓ Partners navigating parenting, neurodiversity, or life transitions
✓ Individuals and couples in alternative lifestyles or cultures
✓ Individuals who feel they are dealing with “sex addiction,” “porn
addiction,” and out of control sexual behavior

Common Challenges Include:

Adrian Scharfetter, PhD, LMFT, CST-S is a Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor (CST-S) with 15 years of clinical experience treating sexual concerns for individuals and couples throughout California, including San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, and Sacramento. At Athenian Counseling, he works with a wide range of presentations including desire discrepancy, sexual anxiety, kink and BDSM integration, and intimacy issues within ENM and LGBTQ+ relationships. His sex therapy practice is evidence-based, shame-free, and tailored to who you actually are.