What Are Boundaries in a Relationship?

I often work with a lot of clients on helping understand what boundaries are and how to develop healthy ones for their lives. Here are a few ideas to help get that conversation started with you and your partner.

Boundaries, as I define, in a relationship are the emotional, physical, and psychological limits we set to protect our well-being and maintain a sense of autonomy, safety, and respect. They define what’s okay for us and what isn’t, what we’re comfortable with, what we need, and where our personal limits lie.

In a healthy relationship, boundaries are not walls that separate partners, but bridges that create space for both people to thrive individually and together. They help each person feel secure, heard, and respected.

Boundaries can take many forms, such as:

• Emotional boundaries: Protecting your feelings and emotional energy, like asking not to be yelled at or needing time alone after a disagreement.

• Physical boundaries: Respecting personal space, touch, and physical needs—everything from affection to sleep preferences.

• Time boundaries: Balancing time spent together and apart, and honoring commitments to self-care, work, or friends.

• Sexual boundaries: Clearly expressing your comfort levels and desires around physical intimacy.

• Digital boundaries: Managing privacy and expectations around technology use, such as phone sharing or social media behavior.

• Relational boundaries: Defining how involved others (like friends or family) are in your relationship.

Setting boundaries isn't about control, it's about clarity. They allow each partner to feel safe and respected, and they provide the structure necessary for intimacy, trust, and long-term connection. When both people are aware of each other’s boundaries and actively honor them, the relationship becomes a space where both individuals can flourish.