What People Are Usually Really Asking for in Couples Therapy

Most couples don’t come to therapy because they want to “fix” each other.

They come because they want to feel understood again. Safe again. Chosen again.

Underneath the arguments, there’s often a quieter question:
Do you still see me?
Do I matter to you?
Can we talk without it falling apart?

Couples therapy isn’t about assigning blame or teaching scripts. It’s about slowing patterns down enough to understand what’s happening beneath them.

When people feel heard and less defensive, change happens more naturally. Conversations soften. Repair becomes possible. Trust rebuilds in small, meaningful ways.

You don’t have to be on the brink to benefit from support. Many couples come in simply wanting to feel closer, clearer, and more aligned.

That’s not a sign something is wrong—it’s a sign the relationship matters.