Low Desire Doesn’t Mean Low Love

One of the most painful myths around sex is that desire should always come easily if love is present.

It doesn’t work that way.

Desire is sensitive. It responds to stress, exhaustion, emotional safety, body image, past experiences, and how connected you feel to yourself, not just your partner.

When desire drops, people often jump to self-blame or panic:
What’s wrong with me?
What’s wrong with us?

Most of the time, nothing is “wrong.” Something is just asking for attention.

Low desire can be a sign of burnout. Or feeling emotionally unseen. Or having learned to prioritize everyone else’s needs first. It can also show up when sex starts to feel pressured or obligatory rather than connective.

The problem isn’t low desire. The problem is what happens when it goes unspoken.

When couples slow down and get curious, without judgment, desire often shifts on its own. Not because it’s forced, but because safety, honesty, and connection create space for it.

If you’re navigating this, you’re not broken. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.